Sima from Mumbai!

Oh, goodness me! My wifey and I have been practically binging on The Indian Matchmaking on Netflix.

If you haven’t watched the show, it is about an Indian matchmaker who tries to set up the members of the young generation together as couples in a type of arranged marriages. According to her, in India there are only marriages and love marriages. Marriages refer to those which are arranged by the matchmakers and usually consulted with astrologers.

How Did It Feel?

Watching the show was like delving into a culture I didn’t know, or have any knowledge of. I thought, at first, that arranged marriages were still based on the family status and wealth, but even for the richer people on the show it seemed to be more about finding a suitable spouse in terms to them being happy together as a couple instead of wealth.

Over the course of the episodes it became clear how much it seems to mean for the cultural background to have a good match, so that the marriage is long lasting. The idea of first comes familiarity and the then comes love was repeated many times in the show, and I truly believ that.

It Made Me Think…

Auntie Sima from Mumbai made me think how much we in the Western cultures might actually benefit from matchmakers like Sima. We place a lot of weight on falling in love and then growing apart when we notice that we are too different. What if we approached dating, and marriage, from a viewpoint that this is what you two have in common, and there is still some differences which you two can work with.

In Western Ireland, in a small village of Lisdoonvarna, there is a month long matchmaking festival every September. COVID, however, has forced even this festival to be postponed and altered and it is a shame.

In reality, there are people from all over the world flocking to a small Irish village in search of craic and love. There is even a LGBTQ version of the Matchmaking festival, called The Outing Festival which goes to prove there we are social creatures and are looking for love.

But Are We Ready For Love?

There were two things that Auntie Sima said that really resonated with me.

  • we must be willing to compromise
  • we must be serious in our search for a spouse

And I totally agree with those. We cannot go on around expecting to get what the employers seem to be looking for: a 20 year old person with three degrees and at least 10 years of experience.

In dating and marriage it is about compromising and accepting because that seems to be the best glue there is. I, for instance, value me-time every now and again (it allows me to concentrate on my writing), but even now I am laying down on the bed next to my Wifey, getting my me-time whilst listening to her sleeping. Best. ❤️

The second thing is also very true. Be true to yourself. If you are not in a stage of your life where you want to settle down and start a family… Don’t. You most likely just end up harming yourself and those around you. Because you will know when the right person waltzes their way into your life. I did.

Me And My Co-Pilot (c) Khalil Shafiq

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