It’s 2023, and many of us have made some New Year’s resolutions or simply have decided (after feeling hangoverish) to stay sober for January, at least. In other words, we are trying to be better versions of ourselves.

“This Year I Definitely Will…!”

When I was younger, I did try to make resolutions, mainly because everyone else around me did theirs. But the habit never really stuck. Neither did many of my friends’ and some of them were really resolute.

So what is wrong with that? Maybe it is because the desire to do something isn’t really there? Maybe the timing is off? Maybe, just maybe, we are supposed to be like we are and evolve when we are ready to do it.

Lately, I’ve been seeing lots of posts on Facebook about body positivity, and as much as I support people’s rights to their own bodies, I also would like to see each and every one of us make health conscious decisions concerning our lives. It’s completely ok to be round and juicy, but at the same time, we need to be conscious about the possible hazards that it can pose to our joints, muscles, veins… And if you take care of your health and at the same time are happy with your body, there is nothing anyone can and should say about it. If you are worried about your health, consult your doctor and then be happy with your body.

And the same goes with stress. I do blame stress partially for my heart condition that was operated back in 2015, when I wasn’t even 40. Some parts of the condition were definitely hereditary, but one can not put all the blame to ancestors alone. The bad thing about stress is that it sneaks and attaches itself to you like some evil parasite and starts to suck the life away from you, making you suffer from blood pressure, insomnia, short fuse, and lots of other things.

And maybe that stress causes us to lose focus? Maybe we can deal with only a certain amount of adversity at any given time – think of a situation where you need to deal with something stressful, and people are also pointing out other issues in your life. That can cause you to react to the issues and people harshly.

Regaining Your Focus?

Many of us, me included, have a tendency to see the new year as a tabula rasa, a clean slate. But it is not, and we should not fool ourselves to think it is. Instead, we should think about the changing of years as a possibility to finish the projects and things that are left unfinished. At the same time, we should see it as a moment in time when we can check where we are with our projects and if they need more work or a totally new perspective to finish.

No, I didn’t forget stress and other issues. We need to take those in account and make huge decisions based on the issues. Workwise, we might have to make a positives and negatives list if we are not completely happy with our jobs. When the negatives outweigh the positives, we should seek out a new and better job. It will also lower down the amount of stress in a longer run. Trust me, I have done it before and will do it again.

The other example that I used earlier was body positivity. And that brings me into something which might be harder than quitting your job – quitting your friends.

I believe that you should let go of anything in your life that causes you extra, unnecessary stress and heartache. And that includes those friends and family members who do not appreciate and support you. There are too many examples of people who are saying: “You know I love you and support you, but you must understand that…“

And if that is the case, their message is almost always something they want you to conform to as they are more comfortable with their views than yours. As a gay man, I have heard that so many times, and it took me a long time to understand that those people do not come from a place of love. So anyone who is dealing with issues with themselves, you are not alone.

So, if I made resolutions for the 2023, maybe one would be to de-stress and express my love more to the people and animals I love. And of course that I will start to exercise more and go to gym…

Have a great 2023, everyone!