A Blow

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you can almost feel it in your grasp, and then it is taken away for good. Do you know that feeling? I definitely do.

I feel that I can now better understand my colleague who was really.keen on getting a new job that sounded very exciting. And then she was notified the harsh words: “Sorry to inform you that we didn’t pick you, but feel free to apply for other positions at…” When you receive that email about a position you wanted, there is nothing that people can say to make you feel better.

So, the same happened to me last week. I applied for a position, and as the nurse shortage has been on the news recently, I let myself believe that I would be automatically welcomed with fanfares and red carpet for just applying. We’ll, as it turns out, it wasn’t the case. Far from it.

But it is not just that. I really wanted this job as I believe(d) that it would be something that I could use to prove myself that I still wanted to work as a nurse. It is no secret that for the past years, I have been struggling to see the point of helping people when people don’t appreciate what I do. This topic of non-gratitude is something that I have written before – for instance in here – and probably will continue to write about as it is something that needs to be addressed.

When the moment of “thank you, but no thank you” hits you, it is not about appreciation as a whole. It is about appreciation towards you as an individual. Appreciation about your skills, about your demands of recompense for your own skills and worth as a professional. And more than that, it is about your dreams for progression as a professional.

It has taken me surprisingly long to get over this situation, and I can not help but wonder why. Usually, I am not like this, moping around and feeling deflated day after day. Generally, I believe in the great plan and that there is something better waiting for me. But this time, I honestly don’t know what to do next. And that, dear reader, is a horrible feeling.

Maybe that is the feeling that a friend of mine has been going through since the last General Election in Finland. She is feeling all time low because of the possibility of a very right-wing government. As this is something which worries me too, I have written a post about it, called an Update On Fear, and when you read it, make sure you start from the beginning.

But, really, is it all bleak? And should it be? No. Definitely not. When we are faced with adversity and rejection, it is not the end of the world. It is a blow, definitely, but when we stop and have a cup of tea, we realise that there always is something to learn from these experiences.

During the redundancy process, I had several nice chats with my colleagues about this. Sometimes, these so-called adverse situations are there to open new doors for you, forcing you to pursue your dreams, or to show you that you still have the interest in your field of work, even if you questioned that before.

When it comes to the future, I don’t know what I am going to do. I definitely have plans, ideas, and hopes, but the trick is to choose something that will be The Idea. Time moves on, and when you are no longer in your 20s or 30s, getting your idea right from the start is very important. Working through adversities is important as it is the only way to hone yourself and prepare yourself for a better tomorrow.

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