Travelling Thoughts

I was 15 or 16, alone in London, cutting through Soho with a folded paper map in my pocket. Back then, you didn’t have Google Maps. You had instinct. And paper.

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

I remember turning into smaller streets, then even smaller ones. The familiar roads disappeared. I stopped. For a second, I considered pulling the map out. And then I didn’t. I told myself: You know roughly where you are. Trust it. Walk.

“That moment wasn’t about geography. It was about trust.”

The Travel Gene

Growing up, travel wasn’t an event in our family—it was oxygen. I inherited that instinct from my Mum. She once lived her dream in Thailand, yet later in life, she stayed in Finland due to health concerns. She didn’t just pass down destinations; she passed down independence and the courage to trust your gut.

Mum passed away almost two years ago. When I board a flight now, I carry her with me. If I could tell her one thing today, it would be: “Mum, we’re moving again. Malaysia. Or Thailand. Or Spain.”

I know she would have groaned, and then smiled.

The Classroom of Truth

If Soho was about trusting my sense of direction, high school was about denying it. For years, I was in love with my best friend and refused to admit it. This was the 1990s; there was no internet to whisper, You’re not alone.

The realisation came on the last day of school. I was sitting in an empty classroom when he walked in. I stood up—and my knees literally gave way. I realised two things simultaneously:

The Regret: I had wasted years being afraid of the truth.

The Beauty: I finally stopped lying to myself.

Accepting I was gay wasn’t an act of rebellion; it was a surrender to a truth my body already knew. When I finally came out, my Mum cried—not because of who I was, but because I hadn’t trusted her enough to tell her sooner.

The Sauna: A Spiritual Return

Like many things in Finnish culture, the important ones, be they birth, men talking about their feelings, final wash for the body, or anything in between, happen in sauna.

I left Lutheranism at 20. Fifteen years later, I was scrubbing my sauna floor after a flight. Soap. Steam. Silence. And then, clarity hit. It wasn’t intellectual; it was urgent.

I walked out, half-naked and sweaty, and told my spouse: “I want to revert. Now. Today.” In Islam, we believe we are born in a state of submission (Fitra). To revert is to go back. I went away from Christianity to find home, and somehow, home found me while I was cleaning a sauna.

Trusting the Process

I have been Muslim for over fourteen years now. Islam gives my life structure and deepens my identity. Jihad, for me, is growth—it’s choosing patience over ego and compassion over judgment.

Nothing in my life unfolded the way I imagined at 16. I started with a husband who became a wife; I supported her journey as she supported mine. Everything happened exactly the way it needed to.

Join the Journey

If these stories of “The Open Road” and “The Inner Path” resonate with you, there are a few ways you can help us keep moving toward our next chapter in Spain or Malaysia. Frankly, we need all the help we can get:

• Bring the Story Home: Visit our Etsy shop, Poodlies. Our art is inspired by the very curiosity my Mum passed down to me.
• Stay Connected: Navigating your own Soho moment? Don’t do it without data. Use our Saily Link for your travel e-SIM needs.
• Support the Process: If you’d like to send a “high-five” and help us navigate these upcoming “storms” of relocation, please consider Buying Us A Coffee.

Exclusive Perk: All Buy Me A Coffee contributors receive an exclusive Saily discount code as a thank you!